Auto-pilot

Sinabi nang wag mag-auto-pilot, yan ang nangyari! Things fell apart. I didn't put God in my decision and actions.

Now, back to square one. I can die anytime now but since that is not an option I need to make this life of mine work. The flowers are still waiting for me. I can still be hope for the flowers.

And for this life to work I need to exert effort and I should never compromise these things:

1. Prayer
2. Communion with God
3. Yoga
4. Running
5. Literature

I have exchanged enjoyment of rich coffee as morning ritual with these 5. I went into auto-pilot. I started being comfortable and stopped exerting effort.

And look what it has done to me.

I am such a mess.

I hate this state of being. I hate coffee and the agitation it brings to my mind!

Why the hell did I start drinking it again?

Never again!

I am going to stop this caffeine addiction and go back to my sadhana.